Lassie

Because Jed was frightened of dogs and would take a two mile detour to avoid passing one in the street our dad decided to get one for the family. We were very excited and our mam told us she was a girl dog so I spent hours thinking of names even though there was only one I really wanted. We pestered mam to death about what she looked like and was she a puppy or already grown up into a lady dog and what colour was her fur and did anyone near us have one like her so we could imagine her better. Jed didn’t keep asking, he was quiet and didn’t want to think about names but scowled and said she might bite us and then we wouldn’t be excited. I heard our mam tell him she was not a biting dog, she was a nice, happy dog who would lick his hands and wag her tail so he would know she wanted to be friends. They always told Jed that if a dog wagged its tail it was friendly and only wanted to be patted and stroked but he couldn’t make himself believe it and avoided them as much as he could.

I couldn’t wait for the weekend to come and spent all my time wondering what she would look like and if I would be able to call her my special name for a dog. When Saturday came she arrived with our dad who had brought her from the farm where he worked sometimes when they were very busy. She had a white flash of fur on her head and round one eye. Her coat was black, shiny and quite long and she had large brown eyes. I thought she was the sweetest, most beautiful dog I had ever seen, not a puppy but not a full grown up lady and when she woofed her mouth smiled. She wagged her tail and panted and then she jumped up at me a little but not in a nasty way, in a nice way that showed she was curious and wanted to me to play with her. I asked our mam what kind of dog she was and mam said a mixture, half Collie and half something else. I didn’t really know what that meant because she didn’t look mixed up to me, she looked perfect in every way. Jed said we should call her Panda because of her black and white eye but who ever heard of a dog called Panda, it was a silly name. Mam said Lady, we could call her Lady but that was a boring name and dad said he didn’t care. I wanted to call her Lassie, like the one in the film who always rescues the little boy and finds her way home even if she is sent away. Jed liked that film so that’s what we called her and I thought all of our friends would look at us and stare at her when they heard us shout, ‘Lassie, time for dinner Lassie.’ She was wonderful.

On Saturday night dad took her for a walk because it was too late and dark for Jed and me to take her even though we didn’t feel a bit tired. We waited for him to get back and she looked so excited and happy; her paws were wet from where she had paddled in the stream so mam wouldn’t let her out of the kitchen until the mud was wiped off and she didn’t stink so much of dog. I didn’t really understand that because she was bound to stink of dog, she couldn’t stink of camel or cat but mam dried her all down anyway. We played with her for a while and told her to sit and lie but she didn’t; Jed said we would have to train her and then she would sit but she was used to running round the barns at the farm and no one had ever wanted her to sit. I decided I would train her to give me her paw and jump up to catch dog biscuits because that’s what people did when they had a sweet dog for a pet. I asked our mam if Lassie could sleep in my room with me but mam said she wasn’t allowed upstairs and they’d put some paper down in the kitchen for her to sleep on. I didn’t think a paper bed would be very comfortable but that’s where she had to stay. Dad said maybe he’d make her a kennel and I wanted to cry because she was our pet and should live in the house with us, not all cold and shivery and lonely outside in a kennel. Our mam said to stop asking for her to sleep upstairs or she’d be in the back garden quick sticks so I thought a paper bed in the kitchen would probably be all right. I slipped her a tiny piece of stew meat left over from tea and she gobbled it up and smiled and I just knew she would have loved to eat a whole pot of stew but we had food for her in a tin that mam said didn’t come cheap. Before I got into bed I said my prayers and asked God to look after Lassie and always keep her safe. My mam and dad didn’t know I said prayers and I never did in front of them or Jed because they were my secret thing and Jed would have laughed at me anyway.

The next morning mam asked Jed if he was going for a walk with Lassie and I could go with him. I was desperate to take her but Jed wasn’t sure what would happen if we met another dog who was walking on its own and it came over and got nasty. I said other dogs would not want to be nasty to Lassie because she was friendly but Jed was still scared. I told him to cut a stick from one of the thick shrubs at the top of the garden and shape it with his penknife. Everybody who walked a dog took a stick to swing or to lean on so it wouldn’t look unusual and he could make one for me too. If we had sticks and Lassie we would probably be safe from dogs who were wandering about waiting to attack innocent people. Jed said he’d make two sticks and we’d walk down the farm lanes at the back of the corn fields where it was usually very quiet. It didn’t take him long and we put some water in a bottle in case we got thirsty and then we set off. Lassie leapt into the air with delight and excitement, dogs really love to go walking. We had a great time and once Jed was sure we were completely alone he relaxed and found a small stick for Lassie to chase and bring back  -  except she forgot that part. We took her every day for months and she loved us both, we shared her, she was our dog, the kids’ dog

Lassie cured Jed’s fear of dogs and as we got older he got braver until you would never have known he was ever frightened of dogs. Sometimes he didn’t want to take her for walks and I took her on my own or dad took her at night. When we left our house to move to another village a few miles away we were near the big school and Jed spent more and more time with his friends playing football and tigs and cricket. Lassie was my dog. She came bounding out to me when I arrived home from school and she had learned lots of tricks. Over the years I had taught her to sit, lie down, stay, beg and shake hands - well my hand and her paw. She was very quiet, not ‘one of them dogs that barked at now’t’ as mam said and I told her all about my day at school and if I was unhappy or sad or anxious. When I got poorly I would snuggle up against her and pretend we were on an island far away where horrible things never happened. Our mam got very poorly and had to go away but she never wanted to snuggle up to Lassie because of her dog smell and having germs that got on her hands which made her wash them over and over even when every germ must have been very dead. It wasn’t nice when mam got poorly and went away because I really missed her and wanted her to hurry up and come home.

When our mam was away we lived with my auntie and she didn”t want a dog at her house so I had two people to miss and I hated being there. Eventually our mam came back but then Lassie got poorly and didn’t want to eat or go for a walk. I told mam Lassie must have a cold or an upset tummy because she just wanted to lie down and drink water like I did when I had a fever. Jed said Lassie didn’t just have a cold, she wasn’t a person, dogs got other things that made them poorly. He told me dad said her ‘back end’ had gone but I didn’t really see what that could mean - it made her sound like a tractor.

One Tuesday night I came home from school and went upstairs to take off my uniform and put my playing out clothes on. Lassie put her head in my hands and half opened her eyes to look at me even though she didn’t feel well. Mam and dad were in the garden but the window was open so I could hear them talking but they couldn’t see me, on the floor, stroking Lass and telling her she would start to feel better soon. I heard dad telling mam they would have to get rid of her because she was dying and he would have to do it soon. Mam said they couldn’t afford to take her to the vet and dad said he would knock her on the head, put her in a sack and drown her in the quarry pool. If he gave her a sharp knock she wouldn’t suffer but she was suffering now. I wanted to scream and held Lass close to me so they couldn’t take her anywhere; I wanted to scream at them but they didn’t know I’d heard them talking and I was working out how to save her. My eyes were burning with tears that felt like someone had poured bleach into them; I don’t know how I  breathed. I couldn’t say anything to mam and dad or let them know I had heard or let them see I was crying. I don’t really know why I had to keep it a secret but I know I was supposed to because they didn’t like us skriking in front of them. When I looked into Lassie’s eyes and put water on my hand for her to drink I think she was crying but my eyes were blurred.

I went to school on Wednesday after giving Lass a really big hug and telling mam and dad to take good care of her because she was going to get better soon. At school it was hard to concentrate and Mrs Henderson kept asking me if I was all right because I looked flushed. I didn’t eat school dinner and when the bell rang for home time I raced down the street and into the house so I could check on Lassie. She wasn’t there, I looked all over the house and she wasn’t anywhere, she had gone. I asked mam where she was and mam said she was sorry but Lassie got really poorly when I was at school and she had gone to sleep for ever, she had died. I wanted to scream but no sound came out, I wanted to ask her if they had thrown her into the quarry pool but I didn’t dare, especially when dad walked in to get his cigs. Jed came home and he could see Lass was gone but he didn’t say anything, she was my dog, she had always been my dog.After tea I raced back up the street and over the Bull fields towards the quarry. I kept shouting her name because I couldn’t believe dad could have put a living dog into a sack and thrown her into the quarry. I kept shouting her name, ‘Lassie, Lassie’ and I tried to see if there was any way I could check to see if there was a dog in a sack but it was unbearable, I couldn’t see down into the murky black water and I heard myself screaming and screaming which was fine because there was no one there to hear me.

Jan