Joey’s Intuition — Bah!

I slept awkwardly throughout the night, unaccustomed as I was to resting on a pallet of straw which poked me whenever I turned over. Other travelers appeared nonplussed as they slumbered, enjoying their interludes into the land of dreams. When I finally dropped off into a deep sleep it was nearly four. Within the hour, I awoke with a pounding headache and a stitch in my side.

“How am I ever going to travel the Serpentine Road?” I muttered. “I can’t ride in this condition. Hmm. Perhaps I’ll have to stay back.” I had doubts about this trip. I rolled away from the sun rays shining through the open door and closed my eyes again.

Thump. Thump. Thump. I startled. I didn’t have a headache. I had a donkey butting his head into the back of my head. I didn’t have a stitch. I had a donkey hoof poking me in my ribs. I must admit it was a ‘gentle kick’, but a kick nonetheless.

I was in no mood for a morning frolic with that bossy beast of mine. I was tired and grumpy, but I did open my eyes to glare at my wake-up call donkey. I frowned and squinted into Joey’s fluid brown eyes, but he tossed his head and smiled graciously.

“Breakfast is served under the linden tree. Five minutes flat. It’s quite cool — change in the wind — so better put on your warmer clothes. We have plans to go over before we move on.”

“Joey, everyone’s asleep. Go back outside.” I flung my arm over my face. “We planned to wake up at 7, and I haven’t slept an hour all night. AND I didn’t hear we were to begin traveling today.”

“Don’t you remember? Remember what Madame Viola predicted? Dire consequences if we don’t follow our intuition. Ahem. Especially my intuition. Surely you haven’t forgotten her message?”

“Fine. Okay. Lovely. Grand. I momentarily forgot you were the wonder donkey. Breakfast in five minutes. Let me wash my face and get dressed.”

“Pack all your gear, too, and don’t forget Enchanteur’s bag.”

Before I could protest, he pranced out the door with his tail swishing in rhythm to his steps. Sighing heavily, I dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. Then I threw a sweater over my shoulders and rolled my bedding into my bedroll. My rucksack was still filled with this week’s haul from the Outpost. I pulled on thick wool socks to help protect my sore feet from boots which were not yet broken-in. I was still a tenderfoot, even after previous forays into Lemuria’s back country.

Joey was right about the weather. A northerly wind blew into my face and even the bright sun added little warmth. I could see my breath in the cold air. I shivered and hurried to the linden tree, anticipating a warm fire and a cuppa hot tea. I was sorely disappointed. Joey had picked three tart apples for us to share. He was proud of his find, so I munched my apple without complaint, all the time wishing for a bowl of oatmeal and some steaming Earl Gray.

Still pondering over the emptiness of my stomach, Joey started nudging me again. Why he insisted on using body language when he had perfect ability to speak was beyond my ken. “Joey, stop bumping me,” I said more in a growl than in a genteel conversational tone.

“If you listened, Bo, when I speak to you, I wouldn’t resort to my tried and true method of communication. But your mind, my dear, is skipping about rather erratically, and I haven’t yet connected my mind reading skills with you. You’re being quite a difficult lass to decipher.”

“Oh, Joey. Quit the dramatics. And I don’t want you to read my mind anyway. That’s an invasion of my privacy.”

“Be careful what you demand of me. You would be smart to appreciate any manner of communication between us.”

“Fine! What is so important that you dragged me out into the cold to tell me? It better be good.”

“Bo, if you’d stop snapping at me, I’d love to have a reasonable conversation with you. I must tell you our plans.”

“Exactly what are these plans of ours of which I seem not to know.” My lack of sleep had wiped all civility from my manners, no matter how hard I tried to be pleasant. Evidently, pleasant wasn’t in my morning repertoire.

“Bo, if you can’t be more co-operative, we can begin without discussion about today’s plans. Or perhaps I’ll leave you at the outpost and find a wanderer along the Serpentine Road to accompany me. Surely a stranger would be better company than you at the moment.” Joey’s eyes were flashing with irritation. It was time for me to behave or drop out of the journey.

“I’m sorry, Joey. Really I am. Tell me our plans.”

“You’ve wasted precious time haggling over details. Listen up. I want to leave the Outpost within the half-hour. It is best if we travel off road for a few miles. There is a danger of some sort lurking near the road. Perhaps I can conquer this peril before others pass.”

“Mmm, Joey? Maybe we all should travel together. Safety in numbers and all that jazz.”

“Nonsense. Have you no sense of duty? Just let me adjust my eyeglasses and top hat and we’ll be off. Climb on.”

“You’re making a spectacle of yourself. You draw attention with that get-up. Anyway, shouldn’t we tell the others where we’re going? Warn them?”

“I have been in communication with She Who Knows and all is in order. Stop procrastinating and GET ON!”

“OKAY!” I stamped over to where Joey was standing, impatiently kicking at the earth and sending a cloud of dirt into his face. Pointedly coughing, I mounted Joey with a fair amount of angry flailing. Joey, being a better creature than me, ignored my silent tantrum. He gracefully took off and flew low to the ground until we reached the woods where we had previously visited the Serpentine Circus. How I wished Madame Viola and her crystal ball were still in operation! I could have used a few words of fortune telling and encouragement in this situation. Alas, the grounds were as vacant as when we had hurriedly flown away, several days before.

Joey yelled at me above the wind’s noise. “We’ll land here and walk beside the Serpentine Road for a mile or so. Then we must hide ourselves in the brush and proceed cautiously.”

“Joey, hadn’t I better know what we’re tracking? I can be useful, you know.”

Joey shook his head and snorted with disgust. “It’s best if you only come along for the ride, Bo. At least for the present. I’ll let you know when you will be of use.”

I was getting my fill of Joey’s bossiness. This morning had not been the celebratory beginning of our journey that I had anticipated. Just when I was about to let loose with a string of expletives, Joey swerved quickly into the undercover of the woods. A string of silver arrows shot past us.

“Hide, Bo. And don’t move until I come back for you. No matter what, you hear? Promise me!”

I refused to promise, but I did hide. Then Joey stealthily (as stealthily as a donkey can be) disappeared from my view.

I laid on the ground under a densely spreading bush and tried to steady my breathing, tried not to focus on this turn of events. There were puffy blue berries in the green foliage and I wondered if they were safe to eat. I was thirsty, hungry, and getting more annoyed with each passing moment. Yet all was still.

Then, without any premonition, there was loud shouting and braying in the distance. The sounds of splintering trees and heavy steps filled my ears. Fury boiled in my blood. How dare he dump me instead of letting me be beside him!

But silence came as quickly as the disruption had begun. I shifted my weight under the low hung branches, unaware of the long thorns on the woody support. I yelped as a thorn sliced my forehead open. Then Joey returned to me, looking a bit tired, but unhurt.

“We are safe for now, Bo,” he crowed with satisfaction. Then he took a closer look at me as I climbed from underneath the bush. “What the hell happened to your forehead? I’m the one in the battle and you’re the one with the battle scar.”

“If you had let me help, I wouldn’t have blood dripping down my face.” I put on my my most convincing angry look. “Don’t you ever leave me behind again. I’m not a golden-haired princess who needs protection!”

“Sorry, Bo. You’re right. This is as much your journey as it is mine, but until we reach the first ouroboros, I wanted to be extra careful. Is there anything in Her bag that could help us? Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

“I’m not sure. A candlestick? That’s no good. Dream seeds? I’m supposed to plant them along the Road; I don’t think that’s any help. Hey, the spectacles. Maybe…”

“Give ‘em a try, Bo. See what they do.”

I hooked them over my ears and tried to focus through the blurry lenses. My sight became clear. “Joey, I can see for a mile or so - both the Serpentine Road and the forest. There seems to be nothing up ahead, but no one behind us either. We’re on our own.”

“Great! We can work on your character development before the others catch up.”

“My character development? And what about yours, Mr. Show-Off Donkey?”

“I wouldn’t know about that. Let’s walk, Bo. We’ll be more aware of our surroundings if we move at a slower pace.”

I walked, but I was feeling as stubborn as a mule and I refused to speak to Joey, even when he started sweet-talking me. All we’d done was fight and disagree all morning. He softly brayed an old donkey folk song, while I silently seethed inside. So far, I hadn’t learned a thing on the Serpentine Road.

Only four hours had passed, and I was already ready to quit.